Meant to Be
by DimiGex
Summary: Jiraiya and Tsunade have a heart to heart.


**Author's Note: **This is part of my May Drabbles challenge (yup it's July but hey, at least I'm still writing something?) The prompt was "we were meant to be, we just did it wrong" and the bonus word was water. Enjoy!

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Jiraiya sipped the sake in front of him and wished that he'd had the strength to refuse. But, he had never been able to deny Tsunade much, even less once she'd set her mind on something. The woman in question had already drank more alcohol than she should've for this early in the evening, but that hardly surprised him. The serious expression on her face gave him pause, however.

"Are you sure you don't want a team to go with you?" Tsunade had already asked the same question three times. She must have sensed Jiraiya's trepidation about the upcoming mission, so he did his best to quash it down further.

"I work better alone," Jiraiya argued, altering the tactic that he'd used all afternoon. Perhaps a grain of truth would be more convincing than blatant bravado. "Adding someone else would only slow me down."

Tsunade mulled over the information with another swig of sake. "I could go," she offered. "We used to make a damn good team."

"We did," Jiraiya chuckled, pushing the alcohol away in favor of the glass of water beside it. "But, you have responsibilities now."

Mumbling under her breath, Tsunade took another drink. She hadn't wanted the position of Hokage, not really. Jiraiya had known that when he'd gone after her; it was part of the reason he'd dragged Naruto along. In the face of so many bad memories, loyalty to Konoha only ran so deep.

Jiraiya sighed as he watched the thoughts running through Tsunade's mind. Despite the years since they'd be close, he knew her well. So much had happened since then, countless losses and betrayals. Everything had changed. _But, some things stayed the same_. Jiraiya pushed the intrusive thought away. "It's getting late," he said, moving to stand.

The warmth of Tsunade's hand stopped Jiraiya halfway out of his chair. She stared up or a moment, then shook her head. "I can't tell you not to go. This mission is too important to the village."

Jiraiya inclined his head, waited for the rest. He could tell by the way Tsunade pinched her lips together that she had more on her mind. Huffing out a sigh, she continued. "Be careful, okay?"

"I'm always careful," Jiraiya laughed, standing and adjusting his pack so it slanted evenly across his back.

Tsunade followed, casting a meaningful glance at Jiraiya's chest. "Except, when you aren't."

The memory of Naruto's attack flashed through Jiraiya's mind. He'd been careless then, so confident that he could contain the nine-tails if the boy lost control. The mistake had nearly cost Jiraiy's life. But, he couldn't dwell on that. Not now. Tsunade saved him the trouble of coming up with an answer, by nodding over her shoulder. "Let me walk you to the gate at least."

Dusk had fallen while the pair drank, blanketing the village in hazy, purple shadow. Only a handful of people prowled though the streets. A stiff breeze tugged at Tsunade's hair, pulling it away from her alcohol flushed cheeks. Jiraiya tore his eyes away when they lingered. There were too many distances between them now; the gulf was too great to bridge.

Tsunade led them through side streets despite the lack of foot traffic. Jiraiya didn't question the woman's desire for privacy. Perhaps the public eye had begun to wear on her. Before long, the gates loomed ahead. When Jiraiya turned toward them, he felt something tug, holding him back. He paused, looking at Tsunade with a questioning glance. "I have a bad feeling about this one," she admitted, lips pressed tight again.

Jiraiya swallowed the flippant reply on the tip of his tongue. "I'll be fine, hime," he said, offering a confident smile. "I'm tough to kill. You should know that much."

Neither the banter nor the mention of when Tsunade nearly killed Jiraiya for trying catch a peek in the bathhouse drew a smile from her serious features. "I couldn't stand to lose you too."

Memories of the night that Nawaki died pushed to the forefront of Jiraiya's mind. He could still feel the dead weight of Tsunade's body as she collapsed when Hiruzen pulled the sheet back. He'd been close enough to catch her then, but too far away for Dan. She'd come back to the village a shattered mess of a woman who refused to be comforted. The idea of putting her through that a third time…

"Promise me that you'll come back alive," Tsunade pleaded, interrupting Jiraiya's dark thoughts. "Promise me."

The lie tasted bitter in Jiraiya's mouth, so he held it there. They'd had enough lies over the years. "I can't," he admitted, looking over the village so he wouldn't have to see the expression on Tsunade's face. "But, I promise I'll do everything in my power to come back to you."

"Do you ever wonder if we-" Tsunade paused, drawing a deep breath as she rearranged her words. "Sometimes I think that you and I were meant to be together, but we did it wrong."

A familiar ache squeezed Jiraiya's chest, but he forced it aside. "None of that," he chided, closing his arms around Tsunade. He held her for the space of three heartbeats, wishing he dared for longer, then released her. "We made our decisions long ago."

"Things change," Tsunade whispered. Vulnerability warred with the fear and hope in her eyes when she looked up.

Jiraiya forced himself to look away. "That life isn't for shinobi. At least, not ones like us."

Tsunade started to say something else, but Jiraiya pressed a finger against her lips. The movement shocked her into silence. "If you still want to talk about it, we can when I get back."

As Jiraiya's hand fell away, Tsunade drew a deep breath. Then, she forced a smile that almost reached her eyes. "Just make sure you come back."

Jiraiya laughed and flashed his best grin. "Bet on it."


End file.
